Michelle Law

Michelle Law is an award-winning writer based in Brisbane, Australia. When she’s not maintaining her three amusing blogs or inspiring thousands with her TED talk, she’s exploring the topic of suicide for the documentary “Keep Me Safe Tonight.” Michelle details her inspiration for the film and how suicide has impacted her life.

Photo by Tammy Law

What is Keep Me Safe Tonight about?

Keep Me Safe Tonight is about the ways in which we, as individuals, can help those people who are feeling isolated or suicidal feel safer. The title of the film was inspired by our initial research at a Lifeline Call Centre, where one of the telephone crisis supporters told a caller that his job was to “keep you safe tonight.” The film follows three people — a young man who once attempted suicide, a Lifeline TCS (Telephone Crisis Supporter), and a suicide bereavement counsellor who works with those loved ones and communities left behind.

What was your inspiration for this project?

The idea came about after me and my team members Corrie Chen (director) and Jiao Chen (producer) started following a Google+ Hangout with Julia Gillard. Members of the public could pose any question to the PM, and one of the questions was about what the government was doing to address the high rates of suicide among young Australian men. That led to some research into suicide rates among Australians, and we were shocked to discover that it is the leading cause of death for men under 44 and women under 34. Moreover, we were shocked that we hadn’t known about this statistic beforehand, and wanted to bring light to a topic that is regarded as taboo.

You have been personally affected by suicide. Who have you lost and what were the circumstances that led to his/her death?

My youngest uncle died by suicide in the late eighties, and the effects of his death have echoed throughout my family. He was living in Australia for some years, having fled Hong Kong amid fears of the British hand over to China. He’d just had a child and had established a business and friendships in Australia. However, he was deported for overstaying his visa, and was transported back to Hong Kong, being forced to abandon the life he’d built. Back in Hong Kong, he had virtually nothing. Mum was very close to her youngest brother and didn’t get to say goodbye to him, being back in Australia (she was a permanent citizen). She simply received a phone call alerting her to his death. I don’t think she ever fully recovered after that.

Have you been able to talk openly about this and your feelings with those around you? Why/ why not?

I think the earliest age I would have heard about my uncle’s death was perhaps 9 or 10. And my siblings sometimes talked about it amongst themselves. I remember feeling scared and sad, and felt like it clarified a lot about why Mum was often so upset. Mum has always been very open about her relationship with her brother and the nature of his death. She reminisces about him, in a bitter sweet way, but becomes very emotional afterwards. So I have experienced that grief second hand, watching how it has affected her, and that has meant my siblings and I are quite sensitive and emotional people as a result. Although I’ve wanted to, I haven’t spoken about my uncle much with my other extended family—except in passing, and in some ways quite detachedly, because I imagine they don’t want to dwell on it—and for some members of the family, his death is still a mystery, as suicide was never an idea that was openly discussed. I think that is in part due to the stigma, and in part to protect members of the family.

How has your personal experience and this film influenced you as an adult?

Personal experience has made me a much more sensitive and compassionate person. Mental illness runs through my family, so I’ve become a lot more tolerant and patient. I try to always be nice to other people because you never know what someone else is going through, and vice versa. The film has been quite beneficial for me in that it has helped me face my fears. I think beforehand I regarded suicide as something unspoken and frightening, but being forced to talk about it and research it has helped me understand that it is a much bigger problem that affects us all, although we may feel like we are dealing with it privately.

What do you hope to achieve through this project?

I hope that people who are going through tough times feel encouraged to reach out to someone without the fear of rejection, or guilt. And perhaps this is idealistic, but I hope that individuals will feel like they know what to do, what to say, and how to act, when a friend or loved one tells them they are feeling suicidal, or even lonely. The big thing we’ve learnt through making the documentary is that simply being there for the person is a big thing. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a grand gesture, just the knowledge that someone knows you care about them, they have your support, and you are available and non-judgmental.

If there is one thing you want people to take away from it, what would it be?

That if you are going through tough times, you are certainly not alone. Even the people we think have it all, or are happier than us, are going through very real and painful experiences just like everybody else. Many people in their life time will either be directly or indirectly touched by suicide, regardless of your background, age, ethnicity, or socioeconomic situation. At the end of the day, we’re all just people, all in the same boat, so the important thing is to be there for each other.

How can Our New Lives’ readers support Keep Me Safe Tonight ?

You can like our Facebook page and stay up to date with how the film is going. And keep an eye out for the film on ABC2 later this year.